


“Are you Patton?”

by Mango_the_lemon_fox



Series: REconstruction [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Almost everyone is unsympathetic at some point but they learn, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I think ummm, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, M/M, Most of them learn, Physical Abuse, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, umm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:15:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24595117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mango_the_lemon_fox/pseuds/Mango_the_lemon_fox
Summary: Logan knew the feel of failure. He knew the burn as it slipped silently off his tongue, he knew the way it struggled through his flesh, begging to be free, and he knew its warmth as it shifted between his bedsheets. He also knew of success, the tales of violently gorgeous fever dreams, spoons of silver and gold, breathtaking praise.But none of that compared to what he didn’t know.Patton.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: REconstruction [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777918
Kudos: 30





	“Are you Patton?”

Logic was failing. 

And such a statement was a testament to that. He didn’t even know when it had started, but he’d begun messing up facts, switching between having a compulsive obsession with work, not leaving his room for days, and spending hours in bed, wanting to fall into a void and disappear forever, in a matter of seconds. Maybe it was just the inevitable, just another straw, a continuation of the path that was leading them to Thomas’s destruction. He was just the next thing to lose. And as he lay half passed out on the cold kitchen tiles, maybe that’s what he wanted. 

Of course it hadn’t always been that way, Janus told them of times when it had been worse. He told them of the times before they were reset when they were monsters, when they were parasites, when they almost destroyed Thomas. 

Yet even if this was meant to be better than whatever came before, it was still lonely. Roman spent most of his time inside his room, maybe it was due to Janus constantly calling his ideas inadequate, or maybe it was just something that had to happen. There were a lot of things that ‘had to happen’, that’s what Janus said anyway. Like how Roman had to be creative, how he had to be smart, how Virgil had to stay away from them, how Remus had to be silent. 

But there were still highlights, breed dreams, and as he felt the cold floor uncomfortably on his back, the trickle of acid down his throat, he began to flip through those memories. 

The last time he’d seen Virgil, outside of fleeting glances.

“Login?” He’d asked, there was fear in his eyes, untouched misery. His hands shaking as they clutched the stairwell, hair tucked messily under his purple hood.

“Yes Virgil?” Logan had replied.

“It’s nothing.” Then he disappeared up the stairs. 

The nights when he used to enjoy bubble baths.

Logan used to love them, the aromatic water, adorable novelty, and just the small bit of joy they made him feel. It was kind of like seeing a blue jay flutter across a rainbow. Though all good things have to end. One day Roman had noticed bubbles in the draining tub, and he’d made a sly joke about how bubbles were a ‘Patton thing’, and Logan had lied, said they were just from his shampoo. He stopped taking bubble baths after that. He came to his senses. 

A ‘Patton thing’ that was a curious term, so curious in fact, Logan had only a short grasp on its derivative. 

Who was Patton? He knew of Patton, he saw him nearly everyday but.. who was he?

When Logan walked down the hall after the daily afternoon meeting, he saw him. He saw Patton’s pretty light brown hair that had the slightest curl to it; He saw those small but expressive freckles dawning his cheeks, arms, and the slight bit of ankle in between his cats socks and untied shoes; he saw the pretty blue polo that reminded him of a summer sky, grey sweatshirt tied lossy around his slightly sunburned neck.

He honestly found it rather impressive how much the image was burned so cleanly into his mind as he only saw him from far away. 

Patton lived in a room without doors, instead a large slightly cracked glass pain. Inside was a small room with light pink walls, a white rug floor covered in hundreds of plushies, and in the middle a single bed covered with roses. Patton lay dreamily on the bed, arms tangled slightly in the blanket, shoes wrapped in flowery thorns, face in a placid expression, eyes closed, but Logan swore if he ever saw them, they’d be sweet. Roman had once compared Patton to sleeping beauty, Deceit had said he was missing the beauty part. 

Though worrying ‘who’ Someone was, that was a ‘Patton thing’, and it wasn't good to do ‘Patton things’. No matter how many facts failed him, that stayed resolute. 

Not that it wasn't a fact he’d bent far to often.

He’d bent it when he’d thought about knocking on Remus’s door and asking if the quiet side was ok; Bent it when he winced while Deceit yelled at Roman; Bent it when he worried about all the times he’d bent it.

He really was a failure.

He lifted himself off the floor, a haze rocking through his mind. It made him dizzy. Rubbing this forehead he looked around, the room was empty, only a slightly moldy bread and mostly empty cabinets to keep him company. 

Getting to his feet was a struggle. First he just tried to stand up, but his feet were wobbly, head aching, everything starting to spin. Then he tried to pull himself up with the cabinets, then his hand slipped. Finally he just ended up crawling, barely able to resist the urge to hurl.

Eventually he managed to drag himself out of the kitchen and down the stairs, still trembling, but he’d been able to cautiously get to his feet. He’d ended up downing around three bottles of wine. After finding Janus’s stash, something inside of him just exploded. An illogical burst of anger. 

Then he felt a sharp pain in his heart, a shudder running down his spine, air tearing out of his lungs. He whimpered, before in a burst of exhaustion, he fell. Body closing in on itself as he knocked into a glass wall, the glass flask tucked thoughtlessly in his back pocket starting a small crack that his weight continued to rupture, and before even knew what was going on,

He was laying in a pile of broken glass, a streak of blood sliding down his sickly pale cheek, body throbbing.

But none of that mattered, he was in Patton’s room. 

A whole new facet of failure. 

Thomas’s mind had become a hellscape. The yelling, the blood he once saw drizzling down Virgil's lip, the fear thick like smoke in a fire, the silence. It was silent now, silent as he dragged himself towards the edge of Patton's bed, silent as he gripped the covers, silent as he found himself lying next to the first person he’d learn to hate. He was being disobedient 

Disobedience was a ‘Patton thing’. 

Then as the two layed next to each other, nestled on top of rosemary covers, the sun slipping through the skylight, Patton stirred. It was soft at first, like a kitten waking from a nap, a grumbled yawn slipping like honey from his lips, eyes fluttering gently, a small smile sliding across his rosey cheeks. 

“Are youuuuu, Patton?” Logan slurred. 

“Yeah, I think I am.” Patton beamed. 

_____________

“So, you're really Patton?” Logan asked, studying Patton’s almost surreal features. He still couldn’t believe it, a rebellious bliss filling his lungs. He’d freed the side in glass, and at any moment, the whole thing might shatter. 

“Yep, that’s me. Good ol morality.” He chuckled nervously, wrapping the soft blue blanket around himself as he quivered slightly. “Who are you, your face looks familiar.” He mused sleepily.

“I'm Logan, Logic.” He replied stoically, placed a bandage on top of the wound on his cheek. 

“Could, could you tell me what’s going on? I’m a little confused.” Patton smiled, a miffed cheerfulness painting his nervous grin. 

“Well basically we're all different sides of Thomas, though I’m sure you know that much. Janus is in charge and he makes sure we all stay in line and keep to the schedule, i.e. doing our jobs from 6:00 am to 6:30 pm. Though you're not one of the good sides so you had to be sealed away. I accidentally freed you, and I’m sure I’ll soon suffer the consequences.” Logan explained, folding his arms as he sat criss cross on the floor.

“Why am I bad?” Patton asked. Surprisingly able to look even more confused and worried.

“Well Janus said so.”

“Why does he decide?”

“Well he had to reset all of us, he said we were hurting Thomas. We're not good enough to decide.” 

“And you believe him?”

“Yes.” Logan said firmly, and he did. If Janus was wrong, it would destroy him. All the facts, feelings, work, dreams, achievements he’d built his world on, they’d mean nothing. Logic would fail him, fail him for the last time. He couldn’t let that happen. 

“Ok.” Patton said, a thin frown creasing his welcoming smile, hugging himself as he leaned against the wall Logan bed was tucked against, feet knitting up in deep blue covers.

“I’ll go get some water and rags for you burns” Logan smiled lightly, looking pitifully at the redness covering Patton’s face and neck. Out of all the books he’d read one of them happened to be on dermatology, a few passages on sunburns bouncing back into his brain as he ran a towel under cold sink water. 

Returning he found Patton layng curled up in the blanket, he kinda looked like a hedgehog rolled up into a little ball, spiky brown hair poking out of the covers.

“Here, drink this.” Logan smiled stiffly, handing the tiny hand who snuck out of the covers a tall glass of water.

“Tha-no you.” Patton sniffed, pulling the glass under the blanket. To Logan's dismay, he spilled half of it on Logan’s bed in the process. 

“Could you come out, it’s important to apply cold water to the burns.” Logan instigated as Patton hesitantly began to unfurl.

And as he sat back up, Logan could see tiny tears swimming his eyes like goldfish trapped in bowls, then they would dive down, rolling off his cheeks and into an ocean of the unknown. Logan had never cried, he’d never seen anyone cry, Janus said they weren't supposed to cry. But, he couldn’t help but wonder why? Crying was so...beautiful.

Patton just dipped his water, giving a strange look in response to Logan’s staring.

“Here..” Logan placed a wet towel around Patton’s neck, causing him to flinch slightly, a muffled noise escaping the prison of his throat. Then he placed one on Patton's forehead after the moral side finished his water and layed down. “You can rest for now, dinner is in only 40 minutes and 1.234 seconds, so I’ll bring you some food and maybe some painkillers then.” He reassured before stepping away from the bed and sondering back to his desk so he could finish his work.

_____________

“What’s for dinner?” Logan asked, curiously scanning the foreboding kitchen. He honestly felt quite scared. Scared they’d realize he took Patton, scared Janus would realize his liquor stache had been depleted, scared they’d realize how much of a disappointment he was. maybe fear was just in his nature. 

“Just some Pasta. Roman actually stepped up and cooked for today.” Janus grinned. Janus had always been... a curious character. That foreboding yellow eye that carried an unnatural glow, possessive and chilling sharp scales lining his face, and Logan swore there was a slight fork to his tongue; Yet despite such animalistic qualities, he was indescribably intelligent. Janus could tie Logan in any chess match, beat Logan in half their debates, and always had something interesting and horrific to say. Janus was fear itself.

“Yeah, thought it’d be fun…” Roman said lowly, scooting over as Logan took a seat next to him at the dimly lit kitchen table. It hurt Logan hearing Roman speak in such a subdued tone, a complete contrast to the one he shared when they were alone. All stallions can be tamed, can be broken. 

“I bet it was, we're all grateful for your hard work.” Janus purred, looking across the table at the three of them.

Remus was sitting at the opposite end to Janus, head hung tiredly, elbows resting against the table, eyes a downcast shade of grayish brown. Logan often didn’t even notice the intrusive side, intrusive? That’s what he was right? Honestly Logan was quite sure that had to be some sort of joke. Remus was silent as a mouse, timid as a rabbit, and calm as a tree. Remus was anything other than intrusive.

Then Logan realized Janus was staring at him, a sly glare slithering across his face. Janus wanted him to say something. “Yes, thank you Roman.” He quickly fumbled out, that’s what Janus wanted right? Did Janus know? Did he know about Patton? About the-

“What about you Rem? Are you not grateful for this meal?” Janus smield, showing his inhumanly sharp teeth. 

Remus nodded. He hadn’t eaten anything yet.

“Perfect.” Janus announced, folding his gloved hands together, surveying the table like a king to his court.

Then there was silence. The kind of silence that begged the painful question, why did Vigril never come to dinner? Janus never seemed to have an answer. Always something about the anxious side being busy. Logan didn’t buy it, he knew Virgil thought he was too good for them. Logan also knew he was right. He’d never be good enough. 

“Janus?” Logan then queried, the silence snapping like a glow stick bursting into light.

“Yes Logan?” Janus asked, taking a sip of his half empty glass of water.

“Why does Remus have to be quiet?” He couldn’t help it. This streak of madness, stroke of questioning, eruption of inconclusive facts. 

“Oh why that’s simple, he doesn’t deserve to speak.” Janus answers politely. And it was almost impressive how the intrusive (?) side didn't even flinch.

Then as the meal went on, Logan found himself asking himself a question. 

What did he deserve? 

Janus says Virgil deserves the world, Roman agrees that Remus doesn’t deserve to speak, Logan wasn’t sure he deserved anything. He was just a bystander after all. Virgil built the canon, Roman was the canon ball, Deceit was the one who called the shots, and Logan, he was simply a blood stained blade of grass across an infinite battlefield. 

_____________

“I couldn’t find anything in the first aid box, but I got you some pasta.” Logan half frowned, entering into his room with a plate of pasta and a cup of lukewarm water. 

Patton was snuggled in the bedsheets, a teddy bear in one arm, and a YA novel with a punchy bright cover in the other. “Oh, hi Logan.” Patton smiled, glasses just barely resting on the top of his freckled nose. “My burns don’t hurt too bad so I’ll think I’ll be fine.” He beamed, placing the book on the bedside table gingerly. 

“That’s good.” Logan said with a tiny smile, handing Patton the sauce covered plate and cup of water, then he started shuffling through his closet. 

“What are you looking for.” Patton mumbled through bites of pasta.

“Well I think I have an air mattress in here somewhere.” 

“For me?

“No, you're hurt, you can have my bed.”

“It’s just some burns.”

“Some burns that could have led to skin cancer.” Logan corrected. 

“Fair.”

______________

Patton’s rooms had been covered up with wooden boards. He’d tried asking Janus about it but all he got was a 

“We're putting these up just so he won't escape.” 

That’s when Logan realized Janus didn’t believe they were capable of helping him escape, he thought they were obedient. He also didn’t think they were worthy, he didn’t think they were worthy to know the truth, that Patton had escaped. He thought Virgil was worthy though. Just like Vigril was worthy of being kissed undercover of darkness.

Logan was starting to feel ill again.

“Where do you think the dastardly Villain has escaped too? I know Janus says that he’s still in there, but I heard him talking to Vigril-” Roman asked. It was one of their rare interactions, walking down the hall, a shared wistful look.

“I heard him too. And I’m not sure, the mindscape is an infinite plane, expanding far beyond our usual domain.” Logan commented dryly. He’d always been a good lair, even Janus would be impressed.

“I guess..” Roman scoffed, kicking his boot aginst the wall, mud smearing in the chipped white paint. Logan knew how much Roman wanted to find Patton, to finally prove once and for all that he wasn’t as worthless as Janus thought. 

But Logan knew he could never let that happen. Never let anyone know it had been him. Though it was only out of obligation. 

It’s not like he wanted Patton around.

—-—-————-

He needed Patton around.

For the next week, Logan started adjusting to having Patton hanging around. For the first few days, he kept his distance, treating Patton’s little smiles, cute quips with suspicion: But as the middle of the week came, he couldn’t help but start to enjoy Patton’s company, even if he wouldn’t admit it, there shared love for literature, the sweet goodbyes before bed: Then, he reached the end of the week, and he realized something, he wasn’t failing. 

“Patton, I have a hypothesis.” Logan stated, smile crinkling as he watched Patton peak up from his drawing. Those cinnamon eyes sparkling in the low morning light.

“What is it?” Patton smiled. He was dressed in Logan’s only blue sweatshirt that was just a bit too big for him. Accompanied by tan pants, and hair that had been covered in a mess of multi colored bows, a similar design mimicked in the many brackets lining his wrists and ankles. 

“Well before you...came here. I was going through some things, I was feeling unmotivated, and confused, and alone. But now that your..here, I have been feeling like I’m finally myself again. I think it’s because you are Thomas’s heart, and now, I feel like I’m able to put my heart into my work.” Logan said plainly, leaning back in his desk chair.

“I’m really glad I was able to help.” Patton smiled, it sounded lifeless, like the last line from someone he’d called to help him fix his computer. “I just hope…it’s well.. is it worth having me around for that.. I just sort of feel like a burden..” Patton said, his voice going limp.

“You're not a burden.” Logan said almost immediately, barely leaving enough time for Patton to finish.

“But, what if they find out you freed me?” Patton asked. “I don’t want to hurt you..”

“You won’t. I won’t let them hurt you either.” A buzz of defiance.

________________

“Remus?” The kitchen pitch black, not a single light flickering in of the cold downstairs, the moon locked behind bleak curtains. It honestly looked more like a prison than a household, maybe that’s because it was.

Remus looked over at Logan, he had been sitting in the dark, curled up on the couch with a forsaken expression. This was rather normal, Logan would find the quiet side just sitting there, not sleeping, not thinking, just existing. Guess that's what Roman had told Janus he wanted, Roman was creativity, and Remus was nothing. What does it feel like to be nothing?

“It’s dark down here, could I turn on a light?” Logan asked, hand hovering above the switch. 

Remus nodded, wrapping his green blanket around himself, there was a squid design sewn onto one of the corners.

“So, how has your evening been?” Logan asked, walking over and taking a seat next to the intrusive(?) side. Logan had brought a book with him to read but it was usually polite to exchange pleasantries before. “Nod yes for good, and nod no for bad.” Logan added as the side flashed a confused and almost pitiful expression.

The side nodded yes, his mannerisms matching that of a robot, calculated. Logan even swore he could hear the soft squeaking of oil, a final metallic click.

“That’s good, I know you didn’t eat dinner but I hope you found something that fit your liking.” Logan said with an almost fond tone.

Remus nodded no.

“Oh.” Logan murmured. “Well I have some deodorant and a few other things you might like upstairs...I’m afraid I’m not quite sure what you eat..” Logan frowned, hand brushing against the spine of his book.

Remsu lit up at that, eyes taking on breathtaking life to them, a small smile crossing his lips.

“Just follow me.” 

The two ended up walking to Logan’s room in silence, well maybe that was expected. Remus wrapping his arms around himself, twiddling with the sleeves of his light green pajama shirt, nearly slipping on his plaid black sweatpants. Logan led the way, growing more nervous with every step. What would happen when Remus saw Patton? Of course he could just have Remus wait outside why he got the deodorant, but, there was something in him, something telling him to take a chance. 

Remus never spoke anyway. 

“Patton?” Logan asked as he slowly slid open the door, revealing him and the man dressed in green.

“Logan, hey your back so- who's that!?” Patton asked, rather nervously as he looked up from where he was lounging on the bed reading.

“This is Remus, he’s just here for some deodorant.” Logan smield, motioning for the intrusive (?) side it comes in.

“Nice to meet you Remus!” Patton grinned, “what part of Thomas do you represent?” Patton questioned. 

Remus didn’t answer, shooting Patton a sullen glance as he stepped into Logan’s bathroom and started shuffling through the drawers.

“He doesn’t talk.” Logan clarified, “he doesn’t represent anything.”

“Oh, sorry..” Patton mumbled, going back to flipping through his book.

Remus ended up taking all of Logan’s deodorant, a bottle of shampoo, and a bar of soap. Then as if he were never there, he slipped away, out the door and into the night. And as he left, Logan swore he saw a faint ‘thank you’ resting atop his lips.  
_______________

“Happy day of birth, or as we are technically figments of Thomas’s mind, day of existence.” Logan stated, tying a light pink balloon to the leg of his desk, looking over at the small cake he’d baked a few hours ago with a sigh, he’d never been a good cook. 

“Whasasst.” Patton gargled, covering his head with a pillow as light started streaming in through the half open blinds.

“Patton it’s already half past 9, you should be up already.” Logan scolded, checking his watch, as the moral side continued to shrink deeper into the blankets. “Anyways, I didn’t get Roman to make a balloon just so you could sleep all day.” Logan added almost proudly.

“Balloooon? why a ballooon?” Patton whimpered, huggin his teddy bear as Logan stood over the bed looking mildly annoyed. Patton was honestly a pain to wake up, though it usually wasn't an issue seeing as Patton was able to spend most of the day in bed usually. Then, Patton had told Logan it was his birthday in a few days.

“Patton you need to wake up” this was a lost cau-

There was a bolt of lightning outside.

“I’m up, I’m up!” Patton yelped, bolting up as he stared around the round in stark alarm. His teddy bear was also thrown across the room in the process, hitting Logan’s smack in the face. 

“I see.” Logan attempted to sneer, but his distaste was lost to the smile forming at the edges of his ordinarily pursed lips. A novel glee forming in the pit of his stomach, he felt so light.

“Oh, there’s a balloon!” Patton beamed, pointing his bandaged finger (he’d gotten a bad paper cut a day or so ago) towards the poorly inflated salmon colored balloon. “What’s it for?”

“Did you not hear me? It’s for you, your birthday.” Logan scoffed playfully as Patton slipped out of bed and walked over to study the floating contraption. 

“You remembered?” Patton asked rhetorically, face lighting up like a Christmas’s tree in the middle of town square. 

“Yes.” Logan replied, he was never good with rhetorics.

“Thank you.” Patton whispered almost incoherently as his face snuggled into Logan’s dress shirt, arms wrapping the taller side in a tight hug. Logan wasn’t sure he’d ever been hugged, Janus said hugs were a ‘Patton thing’, But as the days went on Logan was starting to decide he liked ‘Patton things’, he liked them a lot. The burning feeling of someone holding you in a vibrant embrace, the feel of another person's heart brushing against yours, the smell of Patton’s cookie scented shampoo. 

Logan felt alive.

________________

“Here, do you know how to draw?” 

As the days continued to continue, Patton, Logan and Remus found themselves spending the evenings together. Logan would either finish up any work he was late on, or subdue himself to his current book (Patton even got him to read the first book in the warriors series, and while it wasn’t really his kind book, he still enjoyed talking about it with Patton); Patton and Remus would usually cook something in the rice cooker Logan had taken from the kitchen. That caused Logan to quickly discover you can cook just about anything in a rice cooker, he also discovered chocolate is hard to scrub out of the carpet, hence why they had decided to try and draw something together.

Remus nodded as Patton handed him a newly sharpened pencil, causing the intrusive (?) side to flash a small smile. Remus wasn't usually one to smile, so seeing one felt kind of like a butterfly landing on your arm, a small but inexplicably treasured experience. 

“Alright so I’ll draw here, and you draw there.” Patton explained, drawing a clear but thin line down the middle of the large piece of paper. Pencil scratching against the books that had to put under the paper on the rug in order to draw.

“Hey, Wait is that a-“ Patton shrieked, Logan looked over, and without a doubt, Remus seemed to be starting on some sort of deformed penis.

Remus burst into a spurt of laughter.

______________

“Roman how’ve you been.” Janus leered, his forked tongue tasting the tension coursing through the air. Roman was sitting on the couch, eyes studying the inconsistencies in the rug, Janus was prowling around the living room, scales glittering brighter with every step, Logan, he was standing worriedly at the bottom of the stairs.

“Good.” Roman replied curtly, breath picking up slightly as he wrapped himself in a tight hug. 

“Good huh?” Deceit smirked, playing with the word on his tongue like a cat does with its prey. “Do you have a new video idea for Thomas? A script? A concept?” Janus asked, an eerie grin rolling up the scale half of his cheek.

“No..” Roman sighed.

“Oh.” Janus fake gasped, poison practically dripping from his animalistic smile, “Then I don't know if ‘good’, is the right term.” Janus hissed, voice dropping an entire octave, demeanor turning cold. “You do know what-“ 

Logan never heard what he said next, but he knew, he knew, he knew, he knew, and he didn't want to see it. He didn’t want to see Roman get hurt, no matter how selfish that made him feel, he didn’t want to see it. Logan ran up the stairs, heart practically bursting out of his chest as he dashed through his door and slammed it behind him. 

“Logan are you-“ Patton asked before Logan wrapped him in a tight hug. 

“I..” Logan stumbled, pulling Patton closer, and as the two stood huddled together in the middle of the dark room, 

There was a blood curdling scream.

_________________

Logan and Patton had started sharing the same bed. Patton had been complaining about being cold, and Logan still felt oddly lonely in the small room, so it had just turned into some natural next step.

“I want to make up for it.” Patton whispered fiercely, hands sliding roughly into Logan’s, legs knitting together beneath the bed sheets, head pressed against the logical side's chest.

“Make up for what?” His tiredness was hidden poorly beneath his structured voice, light brown hair, swirling reds dancing across his cheeks. 

“Whatever I did to deserve to be locked away.” Patton breathed shakily, he snuggled his head into Logan’s shirt. 

“What if you didn’t do anything?”

“What do you mean?” Patton sniffed, a few glossy tears starting to form a salty pool in one of the wrinkles in Logan’s shirt. Breath singing a soft, but tragic lullaby, moonlight flickering across their two unmoving forums.

“When I first freed you, you asked me why you were bad.” Logan began, resting his forehead in Patton’s soft curls, “And I said Janus had said so..” Logan grimaced. “And you said…” Logan could feel the words start to get heavy, a sharp breath cutting up his lungs.

“And you believe him?” Patton echoed, that same innocence brewing in his sad smile, tears rolling down his cheeks like warm spring rain, a light chuckle filling the small shadowy room.

“I don't think I do. I don’t think you're bad, I think you're kind and beautiful…and I-” Logan simpered, it was so soft, so silent, so absurd, not even Logan himself could even believe he’d said it.

“I..think you are two…” Patton laughed, reaching his freckled hand up to cradle Logan’s cheek. 

_______________

The days had been growing shorter. 

Logan would do his work as quickly as possible, the rest of the day with Patton, talking about books, playing chess (Logan had taught him) or simply basking in each other's, and sometimes Remus’s company. His life felt like hell, but his friends, they felt like heaven.

Though at the same time, Patton had become odd. He’d started writing and drawing things he wouldn't let Logan see, getting nervous when the logical side asked for a hug, and overall becoming a strange flustered enigma. That wasn’t normal, was it?

“Lo...gan?” Patton asked, causing Logan to startle slightly as he had been lost in his thoughts. “Yes Patton?” He asked, spinning his desk chair to face the moral side. 

“I know it’s dangerous..but could we go to the kitchen..tonight?” Patton asked or whispered, Logan having to lean a bit closer to hear.

“You know what will happen if someone sees you.” Logan tried to reason, watching as Patton snuggled his teddy bear a bit closer.

“I know...but I really wanna make cookies..the real way.” Patton pleaded, sticking his lip out as he pouted.

“Fine.”

_______________

The kitchen was a wasteland. 

Dirty plates strewn across the counter, a single half eaten apple left in the fruit bowl, and dust strewn across the once neat tiles. They had stopped having dinner together, Roman locking himself deeper and deeper into his mind, Janus becoming colder, the night’s longer, days becoming wild, growing out of the usual ridgedness. 

“So what should we make?” Patton asked, a sly blush licking at the edges of his cheeks, eyes fidgety and compassionate.

“Anything sounds good to me.” Logan hummed, looking through the cabinets, there wasn’t much, but he found a half full bag of flour. 

“Maybe cookies.” Patton smirked, grabbing a few clean bowls and setting them gingerly down on the clustered counter. “And Umm Logan...there was something I wanted to tell you…” Patton trailed off, looking into Logan’s secretive eyes.

“I figured, you’ve been acting rather peculiarly.” Logan frowned, setting down the flour. 

“ I think I’m in lo-“

Janus walked into the kitchen.

Janus was….crying.

“Patton?” He asked, his voice fragile like glass,  
“I..you can’t be here. Youuuuuu have to go back! You haveeee to leave! You're supposed to die….your?” then it shattered. Tears were streaming down his dull scales, yellow eyes flickering like a dying candle, nails digging into his arm. A flask held loosely in his shaking hand. Janus was crying, he wasn't supposed to cry…

“Janus?” Logan asked, adjusting his glasses as his worry took a deeper complexity to it. Janus was supposed to be a lion leading his pride with an iron fist, Janus was the snake strangling their necks, Janus was perfect. 

“....did you free him?” Janus asked, pointing his scaley hand that had been strewn of its gloved hands towards patton. 

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Logan didn’t know the answer to that question. He knew how he broke the glass, but why had he cared...why had tended the sides burns, hugged him under the influence of midnight, why had he snuck him into the kitchen. Why?

“Because, I love him.” Logan answered, unconsciously wrapping his arm around the morals side's shoulder.  
He’d been afraid of saying it, afraid of loving someone he could never love, afraid of simply preening a grave..but now, he knew Janus could cry. Janus could fail.

Janus simply backed away, his eyes turning wide and fearful, tears still slipping down like his cheeks like a leaky faucet. Logan wasn’t sure he knew what fear was until he saw Janus’s expression, the pure terror.

“Logan?” It was Roman, he had just entered the kitchen, his usual princely attire switched for a red hoodie with a crown logo and some light blue jeans, a bloody single use eyepatch taped over his left eye. “What did you do?” He asked, the tone was mixed, but Logan could hear a hint of awe within it. 

“Roman.” Logan smiled, hugging Patton closer. He felt free, hand sliding it’s way down to interlace with Patton’s, feeling the moral side lean into the touch. 

Then Logan noticed a steady stream of blood trailing down Janus’s nose, it was mixing with his tears and creating a pool of runny liquid dripping off the cleft of his chin. It was hardly noticeable in the dim light, along with the purplish bruise starting to grace the edge of his wrist.

“Who hurt you?” Roman asked, taking a cautious step towards the scaled side, his voice a mix of impressed and concerned. 

“Virgil.” Was all Janus could bring himself to say, and it was that he had to snap Logan’s worlds in half.

They stood there in a shadow silence, casting each other muddled glances.

Then Roman walked over and began shuffling through the first aid kit in the kitchen, pulling out a role of medical tape, and some gauze, the tension in the room echoed in worry rolling down his face.

“Where are you hurt?” He half growled, half whimpered, leading Janus over to take a seat on the couch as Patton’s and Logan stood silent in the silent kitchen. 

“Roman? Didn’t Janus hurt you?” Logan then questioned, voice daring like a knife into the heavy air. Roman, Remus, they’d been hurt, Janus had hurt them? He’d never seen it, he was too good, too timely, to be hurt himself. But he saw the blood, the knives, heard the yells. He-

“No….Vigril told me to...say it was him…” Roman heaved, pressing his finger to the patch covering his eye, frown forking into a complacent glare. “Yeah he’s still shitty...but Virgil he’s..worse..” Roman trembled, eye locking with the deceitful sides heterochromia…

The words sounded true, they were true. But despite that, he was sure he’d never forgive Janus, the yells, the pain, the lies..it still felt so real, throbbing scars. 

Though, when he saw Roman kissing Janus the next morning, that made Logan smile, 

Vigril had lost.

________________

The night was growing old, an ethereal face growing wrinkles of stars, a cleft of age rimming in the vibrant moonlight, and a wispy chill rolling out of the open window, rocking the dusty shutters. It was that classic time when lovers meet to exchange forbidden promises, machiavellians plot clandestine plots, and lone wolves sing lowly hymns. 

Logan and Patton had found themselves snuggling under the dark covers, limbs holding each other with a strange caution, worry noded into the spaces between there in interlaced fingers, fear rumbling through Logan’s sharp breaths.

“It’s ok Lo, I’m here.” Patton comforted, pulling Logan into a tighter, but trepadaouis embrace, hands weaving softly into the warmth of Logan pajama shirt, head falling into the crook of his neck. “What’s wrong?” He asked, voice simple like a bird ruffling its feathers, yet simultaneously as daring as a hatchling attempting to take flight.

“I’ve been a failure for so long, and now, I’m not even good enough to be that….” Logan stated, his voice cracking slightly, shattering his guise of tranquility, eyes turning to a sorrowful glaze.

“You...you don’t need to be something Lo. You're not...you're not just a thing, not a failure, not a success, not a function..you're a person.” Patton whispered, wiping a small tear off Logan’s cheek. 

“I don’t think I’m very good at being a person..” Logan whispered, feeling Patton’s heartbeat ringing in his ears.

“I’m not very good either.” Patton chuckled, listening to the sound of an owl singing outside their window.

_____________

“I think everything is going to start sorting out now..” Logan smield. He and Patton were sitting cuddled up on the couch, each with a cup of coco. Logan’s hands wrapped strongly around the moral sides waits, head resting in curly hair, glasses barely hanging on to the top of his shape nose. Patton on the other hand was snuggled up against Logan’s shoulder, a small yawn slipping from his mouth as he took a sip of his drink, adding to the already present chocolate mustache. 

“I hope so.” Patton giggled, looking up with a playful smirk in contradiction to Logan stern frown. That’s how the two were, opposites. Logan was serious, calculated, purposeful; Patton was lively, spontaneous, and erratic. But no matter how different, they still found themselves fitting together like puzzle pieces, two tracks on an infinite train ride. The heart is the blueprint and the mind is the machine.

Patton kissed him.

Soft lips tasted like some sort of intelligible sweetness, a beautiful warmth rippling down Logan’s spine, the feel of Patton’s firm hands brushing feverishly through his smooth hair. It was more beautiful than anything he’d ever felt, more beautiful than tears, more beautiful than hugs, it was simply an indescribably beautiful vividness.

“What’s going to happen?” Patton asked, mumbling the words into Logan’s lips, hands relaxing as they found their way to wrapping around Logan’s shoulders.

“Roman confronted Vigril...or well just yelled at him from what I heard, you were asleep. And they’ve locked him in his room for now.” Logan smield dryly, hands smoothing out the creases in Patton’s polo. “And I think now, all we can do is rebuild hopefully starting with Remus and Roman having a well needed talk.” Logan half smiled, he couldn’t believe what he was even saying, it didn’t feel real. Did he want it to be real?

“Rebuild.” Patton echoed, lips falling back into Logans with a content hum. 

____________

“...yeah, I'd have to say my favorite prefix is re.” Roman lolled, lying lazily across the couch. Logan on the other hand was sitting upright in his chair, taking a sip of camomile tea. This had become the new normal, Patton sleeping in, Remus embracing his new hobby for drawing, Janus off on his own, and Logan and Roman spending the morning engaged in some sort of verbal drabble.

“I quite like un myself.” Logan concluded, licking a droplet of tea off his dry lip. He’d usually be one to use chapstick but Remus had been… trying to expand his palette. 

“That’s just because you like to call everyone UNproductive.” Roman smiled, yawning as he stretched slightly, body sinking into the old cushions. 

“How REductive of you.” Logan smiled without smiling, it was a trick neither he or the other sides could really wrap their heads around, just something that came naturally to him. Maybe it was just the curve of his frown, tilt of his eyes, or lean of his cheek, but a phantom smile was clearly present. 

“Touché.” Roman smirked sleepily.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Been working on this fic for a bit. I actually plan to write it again from each characters perspectives. Also, this isn’t the end, there will definitely be a sequel sometime in the future, this has a tun of loose ends.  
> Thanks for reading.


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